We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pooping to opera.
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