some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Say something about gay babies.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize