Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize