real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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