My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
