She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize