kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
