The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
