The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
