Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
