i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
