My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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