hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
