I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
