Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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