the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
