I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
