i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
