We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
