you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
