I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
