This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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