he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
