shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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