the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
