Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
