I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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