dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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