Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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