So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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