Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
