i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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