is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
