You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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