I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
