the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize