I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i've created a new STD.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
