I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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