then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Still dying that you shit outside
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
