im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
