So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize