that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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