Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
