Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
