We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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