He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
