I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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