I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
