Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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