he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
