i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
