My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
