Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
