I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize