I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
