38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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