when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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