Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
a search helicopter?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
