Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize