I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
