Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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