his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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