i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
