dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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