But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
