Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
