let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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