i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
