I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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