beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
